Date: 11th December 2011
Venue: Manchester MEN Arena
Review by Victoria Brown
At 3am, I woke up. It was so hard to stay so quiet when I was fucking excited. The train was at 5:40am, we were at Manchester Victoria by 7am. I’ll break down the events into sections so you only have to read what you want:
The Queue
This was the longest, most stressful part of the day, lasting 10 hours. I was getting people to sign the card I had made for Nikki’s birthday (more on that later), and we did get a lot of signatures which made me so happy. I love queuing for gigs because you talk to some amazing people who you’ll probably never meet again, and the love of a band just brings you together. Most people at gigs are so friendly and you get on so well. Two guys from Denmark went, it was their first trip to England and they’d brought a lot of booze with them that they couldn’t take into the venue with them. So they shared it and drank nearly all of the two crates in an hour and half. They’ve invited Michael and Alex to Denmark.
Tasha arrived at about 1pm. Alex pointed out that she had arrived - I turned round, screamed and ran, I couldn’t wait to embrace one of my best friends. Well, it was our wedding anniversary after all. Anyone who was following me last year might remember on the 11th December, Tasha and I got “married” on Tumblr. We were wrapped in red blankets and just so, so happy. I also met other people. Alyson, my Twitter sister, came with her friend Naomi. She was hilarious, getting my tits out in the queue to try to put ‘tit tape’ on so I’d have a cleavage. She met Nikki today, the day after the gig. I had to go home before I could have that chance. Jess also turned up eventually, but that wasn’t in the queue so there is more to come.
The M.E.N. Arena has the worst queuing system in the world. Basically, all the doors open, you have your ticket scanned and then you run to a new set of doors. You queue there; they take your ticket off you and put a wristband on. Then they open the doors and you run down the stairs and to the front. When we were lined up in front of the first set of doors, I began to stress out. I was screaming and swearing; I just wanted to be inside. After ten hours of queuing, I was paranoid I wouldn’t make it. I didn’t know whether to cry, be sick, or soil myself. Tasha, Caris and Katie kept laughing, Michael seemed oblivious. But I managed to get to the front. And I was thrilled.
Steel Panther
By the time we were in the arena it was 6pm – 15 hours after I’d woken up (to put that into perspective I’d only been up 10 hours on the Saturday). It had gone so quick though, and despite the early start, I wasn’t at all feeling tired. As soon as I walked in, there was the Balls Out cover, people checking the instruments and the sound. We were right at the front by the barrier. Being on the left, that was where Lexxi mainly was, although Satchel and Michael came over often. The one thing that separated Steel Panther and Mötley Crüe from Def Leppard was the amount the first two ran around the stage. More of that to come.
I saw Stix Zadinia teasing us, peeping round the corner and getting the crowd cheering. Then In the Future came on, the first track of Balls Out and not one I particularly fond of; I don’t like songs like that. However, it was the perfect song before Supersonic Sex Machine. It didn’t sink in that I was finally there, Steel Panther were playing in front of me. The first time I heard them I thought ‘What the fuck?’ – it was 2009 and I was listening to Death to All But Metal, and I couldn’t work out how Steel Panther had not been sued. That song was one that was always guaranteed to be played at this tour, with a line like ‘Where is Def Leppard? Where is Mötley Crüe?’, how could it not be on a tour headlined by Def Leppard and Mötley Crüe? That was the final song, and the time between that and Supersonic Sex Machine was so short.
During Panther’s set I had so many camera problems. I’d taken my camera, which has a rechargeable battery, and my sister’s camera which doesn’t. My camera decided to cut off completely. My sister’s memory card had constant errors and didn’t save half the pictures I took. I had some absolutely gorgeous ones of Michael Starr, but they’re gone now, and I’m gutted. However, I did get an awesome one of Lexxi re-applying his lip gloss.
The distinctive part of Panther’s set was the banter on stage between the band members. Oh, some of the things that were said were hilarious:
Michael: HERE’S A QUESTION FOR YOU: WHO LIKES PUSSY?
*cheer*
Lexxi: HERE’S A QUESTION FOR YOU: WHO LIKES GOING TO THE ZOO?
Satchel: That’s a stupid fucking question, who doesn’t like going to the zoo?
Or there was the one when they were discussing Satchel having sex with Michael’s mum:
Lexxi: That’s funny; he came in your mom and you came out your mom
Satchel (to Michael): DUDE! You just got burned by a fucking retard!
Oh, the audience was roaring with laughter. Tommy Lee said in Classic Rock: “Steel Panther? I just don’t get it”, but I totally do. Musically, they’re not the best. But that’s what is great. They’re not taking it so seriously. Unlike other glam bands, they don’t use innuendos; they say things how it is. They make it funny, and laughter is such a great thing. It puts a smile on your face, and the songs make you laugh.
One final thing I have to mention is this: I came out with Lexxi Foxxx’s pic and a set list. The story of the pic comes later, but the set list is a lovely story. There was an old guy with a backstage pass; he was stood there singing along. I beckoned him over and just said “You’re a fucking legend”. It put such a smile on his face, like I’d made his day. Five minutes later he came over to me and said “It’s not signed or anything, but would you like my set list?” I accepted graciously, and it was his turn to put a smile on my face. Little acts of human kindness, words and gifts. It might not be very rock and roll, but sometimes it just reminds me there is some humanity left it the world.
Mötley Crüe
Waiting for Mötley Crüe after Steel Panther finished was agonising. Most of you reading this will know how huge a fan of Mötley Crüe I am, and knowing they were just behind that thin curtain, they were there. In the same room as me. Breathing the same air. At first, the stewards didn’t hold the curtain, so Tasha and I managed to get a glimpse of the Drum Coaster before the set – seeing it was incredible, we squealed with delight. It was huge but smaller than I thought it would be, and I hoped to god I would get a go. I didn’t.
Unfortunately for us, the stewards did eventually grab hold of the curtains so as not to ruin the surprise start for us. While they prepared, they had a playlist of awesome music, including Led Zeppelin which was awesome; the whole crowd was singing along to Led Zeppelin while we eagerly anticipated the curtain to fall. Then, suddenly, the song cut off, the curtain fell, pyrotechnics blasted, and there they were, right in front of me, playing Wild Side. I wept with joy as soon as I clapped eyes on them. Tasha held me to her as I just cried with ecstasy, all the way through the first song. After that, I pulled myself together, got my breasts out, and only shed a few more tears throughout their set.
Many of my followers on Tumblr know that I made Nikki a card; the 11th December 2011 was Nikki’s 53rd birthday. Tasha and I were privileged enough to be right on the barrier, so I held the card, closed, up to Nikki. This was one of my favourite parts of the gig. He looked at the pictures and smiled. When I saw he’d acknowledged it, I opened it. He read a couple of messages and looked up to me, into my eyes, while nodding and smiling. He has one of the cutest smiles ever. As he walked away from me, I summoned the guy on the barrier and asked him to get it to Nikki for me – I practically begged. Soon after, he came up to me. I thought he was asking me to put my boobs away, but he actually wanted to give me Nikki’s guitar pic, from Nikki himself, as a thank you. I cried then, again with happiness. Being given a pic is more special than catching one and it is one of my prized possessions. Saying that, I wouldn’t have minded what Tasha got; she caught Nikki’s sweaty beanie hat that he’d been using as a towel. She let me smell it – oh, it was beautiful. A combination of his sweat and aftershave is an incredible scent.
If you go to a Mötley Crüe concert, you have to expect it to be, not exactly hygienic. Nikki Sixx is a dirty motherfucker and he will act that way. So, if you’re in the front row like we were, expect to have snot and saliva over you. For a fangirl such as myself, this is an inconceivable experience; you don’t expect Nikki to spit water from his mouth and for it to land in your mouth (Tasha had the same experience). We were drenched in water as he threw open bottles of it into the audience on the left side of the stage and spat at the front rows. Nikki also has a bad habit of picking his nose, some of his snot landed on my shoulder after he flicked it into the crowd of adoring fans. There was one guy Tasha and I felt a bit sorry for – one of the stewards on the barrier. He was subjected to Nikki Sixx hovering his bass above his head, Nikki Sixx’s snot being wiped on his head and later on in the evening, Nikki spat blood down his shirt, ruining the poor guy’s uniform. And he had to take it like a man and not react. That guy was a legend.
Considering the only part of this review that is in chronological order is the parts themselves and not their content, this is an ideal place to talk about the blood soakings the audience received towards the end of Mötley Crüe’s set. It has become an essential part of a Mötley Crüe gig in 2011, with Nikki spitting blood and the gallons of it being poured on the audience. As soon as you see the boys in their boiler suits, you can’t even bring yourself to be upset that their set is nearly over, you just think ‘Fuck, here it comes’. I was topless during the majority of Mötley’s set. Another highlight of my evening was when Nikki looked at my breasts, looked me in the eye as I shouted “BRING IT MOTHERFUCKER” and he spat blood all over my chest. It was an incredible feeling and I was screaming with delight. Then the gallon buckets got picked up, Tasha and I began screaming in excitement as all our senses were muffled with the sheer volume of blood that came crashing onto us. It got in our mouths, in our ears and eyes, up or noses and soaked every part of our body. It permanently stained my grey camera strap pink and broke Tasha’s camera completely. By the time I could open my eyes again, all four boys were stood together, the whole arena was cheering and screaming as they prepared to leave us. My glasses were blood stained, and I didn’t realise how much my vision was impaired until the next morning and I saw the sheer state of the lenses.
As you can see, a lot of my review has been focused on Nikki Sixx; he was right in front of us for the majority of the performance. However, one other sexy man did come to visit us on the left of the stage: lead singer, Vince Neil. He really does run and jump around that stage, and he looks so much better than I thought; he is not as fat or bloated as I thought he was. There was a surreal moment when he put the microphone in front of Tasha and me, and we just sang. It seemed so surreal purely because I’ve watched Mötley Crüe DVDs where he has done that, and it took a few days for it to properly sink in that he’d done that to me. He pointed at Tasha afterwards, and I was squealing with delight for her. Then, we were grinding during Primal Scream. Tasha’s original plan was to make out with Caris, but we got separated, so Tasha and I were grinding. We looked over to Vince, who looked very turned on by the sight of two young women – one with her tits our and the other one nearly busting out – grinding. Anyone who has seen the porn with Vince in may know the look we’re talking about. That look is definitely one I will treasure; I love him so much and it excites me that Tasha and I put that look on his face.
Tommy Lee is the best drummer in the world; he combines his awe-inspiring talent with great showmanship. 2011’s attraction is the Drum Coaster. Tommy’s heart is with techno music at the moment and his drum solo was to this genre, strangely this worked perfectly with the set. It captured Tommy’s child-like nature and his love for different genres of music, and it put a huge smile on my face, even though I’m not particularly a fan. I wish I could have been the lucky one to be strapped into the seat behind Tommy and ridden that coaster with one of my idol, but a girl called Jen was the fortunate one. Despite that, Tommy’s solo was a rollercoaster of fun, with Tasha and I dancing and singing along to ‘Rollercoaster’. I’m glad I shared this with Tasha; she is a fabulous lady.
After Tommy’s drum solo came Mick Mars’ guitar solo. It was such a beautiful moment; the spotlight on him as it should be. He looked so thin and hunched over because of his ankylosing spondylitis, it was heart breaking. However, it was wonderful; his performance was just as incredible as it ever was. I admire him even more after seeing him in the flesh, he is a brave man who deserves so much more attention than he deserves.
So, I should bring this section to a conclusion. What can I say? I feel my life has changed. Thank you. Thank you Mick, thank you Nikki, thank you Tommy, thank you Vince. Not just for this cherished memory, but for everything you do. I love you.
Def Leppard
When the pyrotechnics had ended and some people left (yes, after Mötley Crüe, some people did leave, Tasha and I had noticeably more space and I was horrified by this), I noticed it was a bit chilly. So, I put my top back on. Wise decision, no?
Tasha and I decided to grind for the whole set considering how much fun we had during Primal Scream, and we gave the guys around us a sexy treat. I haven’t forgotten Tasha grabbing my arse! There were cameras everywhere during Leppard’s set and often audience members would find themself on the huge screens. Naturally, Tasha and I made it onto the screens. We were getting right into grinding and I look over to find a guy with a camera pointed at us and a huge grin on his face. Yes, we were grinding and the whole arena could see us. We were just hoping they weren’t filming a DVD!
Def Leppard’s set flew by, and not much happened, but I loved every second. I didn’t know many lyrics so I didn’t expect to enjoy it, but I really did. There might not have been as much of a show as there was with Motley, but they were musically incredible, you forget their age; they perform like they’re in their 20s! And I have a new love for Vivian Campbell. Nom much? And Joe Elliot isn’t looking that bad either; I noticed when he came out to sing Happy Birthday to Nikki. And I totally forgot Rick Allen only has one arm; his talent is implausible. I definitely have a renewed adoration for Def Leppard after seeing them live, although if I wasn’t so excited about having just seen Mötley Crüe, my favourite band, I reckon I would have enjoyed them more.
The Day After…
I woke up at 8:30 the following morning in the Premier Inn, still covered in blood and absolutely shattered. I had to ring my Sixth Form, pretending to be my Mum and claiming I was ill. When that was done, I crawled back into the extremely comfortable bed and cuddled up next to Michael, who was beginning to waken, and thought about everything that had happened. My phone was vibrating every couple of minutes with texts from Alyson and Tasha. At half ten, Michael, Alex and I were sat in a café in Manchester Victoria, which the day before had played nothing but Steel Panther, Mötley Crüe and Def Leppard. I felt quite empty. Post-gig depression had started very quickly and lasted until the Wednesday.
I got to see Tasha and Caris one last time before getting the noon train home. I was so glad to see them, especially Tasha (sorry Caris); who knows when I will see both these lovely ladies again. Meeting Tasha after being friends on Tumblr for so long meant a lot to me. I love you, Miss Brown.
Sat on the train waiting to return to Leeds, I looked out of the window and began to cry silently. Knowing Mötley Crüe was still in Manchester and I couldn’t go hunting for them hurt. Knowing that the excitement of four months was over, it hurt. Michael didn’t notice I was crying for a while, and he just hugged me when he saw that I was. His mate Alex didn’t understand and laughed a bit, saying things like ‘Oh Nikki’s on the phone’ and things like that. When I returned to Michael’s house I cried when trying to explain to Bryan how much the 11th December 2011 meant to me. When I returned home, I cried explaining to my mum. At school the next day, I cried. I cried on my own in the library. It took a long time for me to overcome the feeling of disappointment that it was over, especially when they were still in Yorkshire. Now, I feel a bit of sadness that it has ended, but I am ecstatic with the memory I have, and it will always put a smile on my face. The best night of my life…
